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Above the Noise, Not Part of It

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March 25, 2019

How’s Your Plumber?

Let me see if, for a very short essay, I can spell out a way you can justify a vote for Trump.

You have a dripping faucet. You open up the Yellow Pages. You look at the ads. You see a plumber who identifies as a Democrat. Maybe he has a Jack…err…”donkey” logo in his ad. He comes over to change a washer. He doesn’t have the right one, so, off he goes to his shop to get one. PROMISING to be back in an hour. Four days later, you have no running water except for the six inches in the basement where a pipe sprung when he turned off the valve, he returns. Changes the washer. It works okay, but in short order starts dripping again. Oh, and now you have a foot of water in the basement. Do you call him again?

Your car just started making a noise. You look in the aforementioned book and find one that identifies himself as, well, I dunno…a “Republican”? You bring it in and he tells you it’s a simple fix. Leave it overnight. Next day you return and half your car is laying on the floor of his garage. He PROMISES to fix it the next morning. First thing! A week later, your rental car bill is going through the roof because you’ve been paying the “daily” rate for a week. You’re now up to three quarters of your car on the floor of the garage. You go back and…WOW! The guy isn’t even there anymore! So you opt to let the new fellow deal with it, (he also identifies as a “Republican”), but he and his partner argue all day about how to fix the car. You finally get it back, the bill is staggering, your rental bill is astronomical…and the noise is still there! Do you go back to them?

You’re in the market for a new home. You visit “Newhome Town”, a development with everything going for it on your list of “have-to-haves”. You walk through all five models. You LOVE number four, so you go and look at the dream home…(after all, the builder and his crew are Christians!). As you ride down the street, everything is a MESS! The lawns, the landscapes, the driveways and color schemes! You arrive, and, the workmanship is shoddy. Nothing is straight, plumb, level…what the heck? You go across town to “Newhome Ville”. They build, believe it or not, the exact same homes from the exact same blueprints! You immediately want to see a “number four”! As you ride down the street, everything is perfect! The lawns, the landscapes, the driveways and color schemes! You arrive, and, the workmanship is FLAWLESS! Everything is straight, plumb, level..

But the builder is a Christian, but his crews are ATHEISTS.

Where are YOU going to put YOUR life savings?

You can stay in my spare room in “Newhome Ville” while the repairs to your home in “Newhome Town” are under way. You can borrow the spare car, too.

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